Ladies,
I
get tired of the concept of Fashion Rules, i.e. Fashion Restrictions. Don’t
wear brown with black? Well, why not? I assure you that I can look very chic in
my brown dress pants with a black blouse and a colorful scarf. No one has ever
looked at me and informed me that I do not look good because of my color
mixing. In fact, no one is ever going to look at you and tell you that you do
not match if you are confident and rocking your outfit. So I get tired of
Fashion Rules. White is fine in the winter; it can even be refreshing.
But
what about those other Fashion Rules? Those ones you worry over when you want
to make sure your wardrobe is modest? How do I feel about those? Well, I’ll
tell you the truth: I don’t like those either. Here are some examples:
No
strapless tops.
No
skirts more than three inches above the knee.
No
tight jeans.
I
do not like these rules for modesty. They are well-meaning. They are intended
to help women make good decisions. However, it is my opinion that they are
misguided. I am not saying you shouldn't do the mirror test to determine
whether or not your blouse is covering you appropriately, and I am certainly
not saying that you should stop doing contortions in the dressing room in order
to see if you really can move in that skirt before buying it. What I’m saying
is that we need to stop thinking of modesty as a series of rules. If we see it
in terms of rules, we see it in terms of “cannots,” and we resent it. If we
tell ourselves “No Strapless Tops,” we are sad when we see that gorgeous blouse
that would be so flattering on us but can’t buy it. We resent having a do-not
list.
)
I
think we have to think of modesty differently, more openly. We’re fierce,
gorgeous, independent women, and we want to be free to dress how we want
because – and this is key – we WANT to be modest. We’re daughters of the King,
and we have important things to do every day. We’re spreading love and warmth
and laughter and beauty throughout the world, and we want to have a wardrobe
that reflects that. If you are drawn to a strapless top, I trust that you want
to make it a great addition to your wardrobe. Maybe you are confident you can
pair it with long pants and flats to balance the bare shoulders. Maybe you want
to wear it with a short-sleeved cardigan and fitted knee-length jean shorts (if
you do not own a pair of those, I strongly recommend you get one. They’re so
versatile. But I digress…) As for those tight skinny jeans, maybe you want to
wear them with that gorgeous tunic hanging in your closet, and that skirt that
is four inches above the knee might look perfect with a sweater, knit tights,
and flat boots
However
you envision the pieces that speak to you in your wardrobe, I trust that you
are envisioning them in a way that will make you look beautiful and wholesome. Trust
your loving heart; it will guide you better than an arbitrary rule, and it will
help you honor Him without leading you to mistakenly think of modesty as a
series of “do nots.”
Modesty
should be empowering and exciting, not restricting, and if we think of it as
our personal style adventure, we will never resent it.
And
we will look as fabulous as we are. Enough said.
Love,
Your
Modesty-Loving Sister
Hillary May
"Hillary May is a proud graduate of Virginia Tech and is currently pursuing a master's in Curriculum and Instruction at the College of William and Mary. Her days are full of God, family, friends, passion, children, and rescue animals, and she would not have it any other way."
